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I now view those ordinary acts as a way recharge, sometimes to retreat. I am oersonally on the edge of becoming, well, a person hiding in the cave of Ordinary Acts. I would rather make dinner, weed the garden, or reread a favorite book than watch the news on television.
Even coming here or going to Mastodon feels like running across the highway blindfolded. Why risk that when I wash the dishes and watch the deer in the yard?
I’m only here now because Joan Westenberg is here. Have I the strength to remain? I don’t know yet.
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At the same stage in life as yourself MikeT
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To be honest, I never expected to be this old. I remember thinking about aging only twice with focus. Once was when I figured I would be alive to see Haley’s comet and probably see in the new century. The second was a more emotional calculation that, given my daily miles on motorcycles, I would be lucky to get much beyond that boundary. I am already a quarter century beyond that.
Some days I wonder if 2025 was worth the effort to get here.
How has your path been? And thanks for the reply, first one here on Westenberg!
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Until I reached 50, I was convinced that my best years were ahead of me. When I hit that milestone with my phase 2 family (2nd Marriage with three kids under 4 years old) I came to the realisation that I’m going to have to work well into my 70s and compelled to live a frugal life to provide for these cubs.
So I had to adopt essentialism and ‘sacred ordinary’ to achieve that goal. The dreams and aspirations all had to be relinquished that brought on a delayed midlife crisis.
Into philosophy I delved into and acquired a new mindset. Gardening, washing a car and the mindane 9 to 5 job now are my sources of inspiration based on for who I am doing it for.
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I’ll be honest, my alcoholism and a background of violence / abuse etc had me confused I’d never hit 30. Having done so has felt surreal ever since.
I expected each day to feel like a gift once I passed that milestone. But it feels more like I’m playing Through the Fire and Flames on Guitar Hero on expert level and if I miss a single note it’s game over.
I came across this Churchill quote yesterday though that I keep re-reading:
“For the rest—live dangerously; take things as they come; dread naught, all will be well.”
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I resonate with the notion of having to work well into old age to provide for kids and family. I personally don’t believe social security in the US will still be a thing by the time I hit retirement age.
I’m not quite at the point yet where I’m regarding the ordinary as sacred: I still crave novelty and excitement. But at the same time the idea of it sounds very appealing.
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I’ve lived my entire life assuming social security would go bust here so I feel that
Sometimes I’ve held myself back in order to appreciate ordinary. Occasionally you get opportunities to zoom ahead in life but I often take a step back. I take a reality check and try to drink sweetly from the present.
Here’s what I mean, and this is an odd thought based on my general feelings about education in the US, but whenever I see a kid who graduated college at like 6 I don’t see a prodigy but a kid who missed out on touchstones and being able to relate to others. Like their parents didn’t let them exist and pushed them to extremes at such a young age. I often eschew the ordinary, but I feel like life is in those moments and fragments of time.
Also, I did not expect to tear up at this post but I’m glad we all have made it here together for this moment in time. It’s both extraordinary and really fucking ordinary too.
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Oh, I find the whole child prodigy thing to be really depressing…our years of innocence seem to be disappearing so fast
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